Travel Anxiety Disorder (TAD)

Aside from all of the other stressful factors that exist in my life, I feel rather confident in saying that most of my gray hairs have come to me just prior to going into the field. How does a person prepare to leave their normal life for one to six months and not get anxious about it? This little known (because it is not a real thing) condition, known as (no one knows this, I just made it up) Travel Anxiety Disorder, or TAD, affects me each and every time I travel.

Typically I write my blog posts after I have already arrived to my destination, taken a shower, slept and finally cooled off from the tiring process that is airline travel in the 21st century. I am calmer, more composed, and can laugh about whatever random-ass-only-could-happen-to-me-thing-that-happened-to-me. I can finally relax. You would not see the same girl 20 hours earlier.

Its not that I go crazy prior to leaving (I like to keep my crazy a bit more hidden).




It is more bottled up anxiety that has several very real side effects:

1. Poor sleep beginning anywhere between two weeks to one month prior to leaving. Typically it manifests the moment I turn the light out to try to sleep. Regardless of how exhausted I may be, the wheels in the ol' noggin start churning and temporary panic begins when I realize how close my trip is and how much there is left to do. I think this happens to most women on a regular basis, but it is certainly amplified to an unprecedented degree when TAD strikes. 
2. Chronic stomach ache and sometimes loss of appetite (or sometimes the opposite -- over eating!) for the week prior to traveling. Your insides just never feel quite right and that knot associated with regular anxiety is magnified with TAD.
3. Random moments of sweating occur when the realization hits that you will be gone for so long or that your trip is getting nearer. These moments are hard to pinpoint when they will actually occur. Realizing it is the last time you will probably eat at your favorite restaurant for the next few months might do it, or simply thinking about having to navigate the airport could induce such random sweating. Luckily this only lasts a few minutes once you get a hold of yourself.
4. Excessive shopping trips may result from TAD. I do not mean the types of trips where you go an spend too much on clothes, etc., but rather repeated visits to Target multiple times in a single week to get one or two small things. Often this is probably stuff you do not need, but feel better taking it with you. This action contradicts some of my earlier posts about how to pack/travel light -- like I said, TAD can be ruthless. 
5. Excessive clingy-ness may occur when someone is in the throws of TAD. Thank goodness I have such wonderful friends and a wonderful boyfriend who understand what it is like to travel and do not mind me texting them a zillion times a day with nearly every thought that pops into my head or will hug me as often as I want. I really am a hug person and going several months without regular hugs really does bring me down, so I have to stock up before I go. 
6. And finally, the overwhelming idea that you are leaving your house, your loved ones (and kitty), your language, and all things familiar can some times be too much and you fall into complete lack of productivity or procrastination. I am supposed to be presenting a paper this weekend at a conference and it is not written, but I have a great outline! This only adds to the panic and can make other side effects of TAD even more pronounced. This is probably the most dangerous of all of the side effects for this reason. 

While there is no cure for TAD, there are some ways to treat the symptoms:

1. Leave a notepad next to your bed so you can write down things that pop into your head at night. Sleep is often lost when you are telling yourself "don't forget to...". By writing it down, you will not forget and can gain some piece of mind. 
2. Deep breaths help with the physical anxiety and cooking at home can be a therapeutic distraction. Chopping fresh veggies, sauteing food in a pan while it sizzles are all calming and can help with anxiety -- it will also ensure you are eating well!
3. Sweating is hard to control for. I recommend a good deodorant. 
4. Pack early and make a list of what you really need (or keep an master packing list that you update after each trip to keep you prepared for the next one) and what you can buy wherever you are going if need be. This will limit the amount of trips to the store.
5. Just keep hugging people, no one really minds.
6. Read that list you wrote while you were trying to sleep and do little bits each day. Decide which are real priorities (do I really need to finish painting that wall mural before I go?), and tackle those. You will have peace of mind and will stay productive. 

I am often asked if I am excited for my trip. While yes, there is a part of me that is always excited to go, I am typically in the throws of TAD and am feeling more anxious than excited. It is the anticipation of the trip and everything I have to do before I go that limits my enthusiasm. I typically overcome TAD after getting to my gate at the airport if my destination is someplace familiar (like Paris), or once I have picked up my bag (assuming it has arrived) at my new destination. 

I leave tomorrow for Frankfurt, Germany and will be gone for the next three months during which I will travel to Luxembourg, parts of Germany, France, England, and back to France. This trip is an exciting one as I will hopefully finish collecting my dissertation data and can begin writing up my results this summer. In the meantime though, in the short time it took me to write this post I have been fighting a stomach ache, began sweating, begged Mea Kitty to come cuddle with me (the bastard refused), and have continued to put off finishing my conference paper. I will write again soon when I am in a better state of mind. Bon voyage! :)